66's story
by Cobra of England
Summary: After martyring himself to save a friend, 66 finds himself in a world of peace, tranquility, and edible food. He thinks he's found heaven. Only later does he realise it's more like purgatory than he thought... On Hold.
1. Adjusting

66 woke up and his first feeling was pain. So much pain. Everywhere. Yet the pain suprised him. Pain ment he was _alive_. And not torn to death in that damned vault.

He also felt wind. Wind ment he was no longer in the vault. Did 9 pull him to safety? Then he remembered the red switch and the immolation. He was grateful to the Lord for saving his life as a martyr for his cause.

When he opened his eyes, he was greeted by the familiar green tinge that ment he had his helmet, and therefore his armour. What he saw was definitely unexpected. _Trees. Living, green trees._ And as he attempted to stand up, he fell over almost immediately. At that point, he noticed somthing. His eyes were ever so slightly off centre, as if they were level with his cheeks.

He tried moving his fingers and discovered they weren't there and had been replaced with some upside-down bowl shaped thing. His feet had been replaced too. He shrugged and stood up unsteadily before he eventually was able to at least stand.

Walking inside his little clearing was easier than he expected. At least, after his first few falls and a face-plant.

At that point, after he could move (and therefore run if need be), he undertook standard procedure for being lost- use the Pip-boy's map! If he still had it. He raised his front left leg and sure enough, the black box of wonders that is the Pip-boy was still attached to where it had been on his body. He still had his armour on as well, complete with the reactor.

After several mishaps with the Pip-boy as it was designed for fingers, not hooves, he eventually got to the map page. The Pip-boy had a direct uplink to several pre-war GPS satellites and could locate him anywhere on Earth. Yet for the first time in memory, the screen said *Satellites not located. Please contact your nearest Vault-Tec support centre.*

He stared impassively at the screen and said "What the hell do you mean, Satellites not located?"

At that point, the next instinct of any soldier kicked in- Find your weapon. He found his Incenerator nearby but, due to having hooves, couldn't pull the trigger.

That problem was soon fixed after several hours of swearing, hammering it against a tree, more swearing, removing the igniter and somehow turning the igniter along with a metal pipe taken from his collection of spare parts he had on his Pip-boy into a primitive welder, 66 managed to remove the trigger guard, lengthen the trigger to hoof size and magnetically attached it to his Pip-boy, enabling him to fire and aim it. Fuel wasn't as much of a problem as he expected. A bit of modification to the reactor gave him a near infinite amount of ammo, combined with a brutal-looking bayonet, 66 felt he was ready for anything this new world could throw at him.

* * *

The forest was a worthy adversery. Various creatures, some looking like old-world animals while others others completely different scampered away from the clanking hulk of pony-shaped metal as it hacked, slashed and burned it's way in a random direction, looking for any signs of civilisation or vaguely intelligent life. Occasionally, a bigger creature would begin to stalk him through the wilderness, but a shot from his incenerator usually made them search for easier prey.

After a day of near solid walking, and no sign of any civilisation in sight, he settled down to a cold camp in a small clearing and would have gone to sleep immediately, if not for his armour. It was difficult enough to get off as a human, let alone as a horse without the manual dexterity offered by hands.

The helmet was easy, one side flipped up so he could simply shake it off his head. There were no boots, fortunately, but there were irremoveable Saturnite bands on his hooves and small studs on the bottom of them.

He left the leg armour on as it was simply too annoying to undo the vaccum seals that kept the plates and Hazmat under-suit locked together. Besides, he diddn't want to damage the electronic servos in the legs.

The chest and back plates came off easier as they were magnetically locked together and some genius (and very lazy) soldier had made the Pip-boy able to disable the magnets that held the plates together. After his bulky and quite stuffy armour was off and piled in a small puddle to clean it, he finally got a good look at his horse self.

He had those piercing blood red eyes that all of his family seemed to have and they were made even more striking by his jet-black coat, mane and tail. He also had a strange tattoo-like mark on his flank, the easily recognisable double-hexagon symbol of the Big MT. The larger hexagon had a flickering flame and a long wavy green stripe running through the middle of the hexagon while the smaller boasted the number 22 and a skull.

He shrugged. The tattoo almost perfectly described his life back in the Mojave Wasteland before his martyring. New Cannanites like him did not give up easily. Not even when your life has been turned upside down, your world blown to pieces and yourself flung to some unknown hellhole that is probabaly on some God-forsaken planet.

Viewing sleep as a unattaractive option, he instead worked on modifying his incenerator into a rock-it launcher type gun.

Still, war. War never changes. Even here there would be war. Or, at least the saying stated. He hoped it was right. War was the only thing he knew.

* * *

66 woke to the calling of birds and the blinding light of the sun. He clambered unsteadaly to his new hooves, still unused to them. He said his squads motto as he began to pull his armour back on.

"A new dawn, a new day, a new life." he whispered to himself as he began to plan which direction he would head.

Deciding that wandering off blind into the unknown for a second day was a bad idea, 66 managed to switch his helmet lenses from night vision to binocular mode and after checking all the servoes contained in his armour were working perfectly, began to clamber up a nearby tree.

The view from the top was... Different. He wouldn't have called it a good view but it did grant him a measure of understanding. The first thing he noticed was a large mountain far in the distance. The forest ended in a few miles away at the boundary of, in Old World terms a small village but in post-war terms could be considered a metropolis rivaling New Vegas.

He guessed he would reach the town at nightfall at best, around midnight at worst. Setting off into the forest, modified Incenerator in one hoof, armour clanking, these ponies would know the meaning of fear for the next few days.

* * *

"What is it now Pinkie? I've already got Rarity crying over her store. Don't tell me the Clanker's been at it again..."

"I'm sorry Twilight it's just... It's just that everything's changed over the last few days." Pinkie's mane drooped.

Twilight sighed. "At least it's not Discord this time."

Pinkie nodded. "Choclate rain did sorta get boring after a while... Oh! I completely forgot. The Clanker left this at Sugarcube Corner after he broke the ovens."

Pinkie layed a small card on the floor. It had two black A's on under a strange symbol with the same strange symbol in the middle of the card.

"Hmmm... There's the fourth one of those the Clanker's left afterwards. What did he steal?" Twilight asked.

"A pilot light."

"A pilot light? No money or cakes?"

Pinkie nodded.

"Odd. Along with that utter mass of Bobby pins that he stole from Rarity... This keeps getting stranger and stranger."

At that point, Rainbow Dash limped through the door with a large bruise on her leg.

"You've sure got do somthing now Twilight, the Clanker's just burned down the barn at AJ's and he hit me in the leg with somthing!"

"Did you see what he looked like?"

"Black coat, mane and tail with the strangest eyes- they glowed green. Explain that."

"Knowing you RD, you followed him."

RD laughed. "You know me Twi, wanted a bit of revenge."

"So where is he?"

"In the Everfree. Strange place for anypony to stay when Ponyville's right here."

Twilight turned.

"Rarity, how much do you want revenge for your store?"

"Dear, I'd kick that bastard so hard he couldn't remember what to wear!"

"Pinkie?"

"For the cupcakes!"

"Tonight, we catch ourselves a Clanker."


	2. Finding

66's glowing eyes swiftly spotted the approaching party of mares heading straight towards him. Aha, finally those idiotic ponies decide to haul their fat rumps off the ground and decide to actually do something about me he thought to himself.

The leader, who he guessed was the purple one who lived in the library although he wasn't completely sure (Night vision has its drawbacks, after all.) caused a glowing ball of light to appear above the incoming party of ponies. As he watched the seemingly impossible unfold, his night vision turned itself off, reverting to the binocular mode.

There was the hyper-active bright pink pony that either was planning or running 'parties'. He knew what a party was but couldn't recall the last time he ever went to one. She also seemed to routinely break the laws of physics, or, as the W-4 Wall Breaking unit called it, the fourth wall. They had been unsuccessful but had come close several times, most notably in the field of unexplainable matter replication. This pony had obviously succeeded. She was of minimal consequence.

The limping rainbow-maned one with wings was obviously the overly cocky flyer that had followed him back to his camp and informed the others of his location. She would be out for revenge and therefore easily removed from the equation.

The other hornless one he presumed to be from the farmer family. She would also be out for revenge after he had stolen every apple he could find over two nights. She also had a distinctive accent that placed her from Texas. She would be getting a tripwire for the accent.

The fashion pony was almost surely the most vengeance bent of the lot of them but a few well placed dips in the mud would eliminate her.

He didn't know much of the other flying one despite the fact she lived the closest to his camp. She appeared to be shy and to love animals and 66 doubted she would do much.

The only one he was worried about was the purple horned one. She had a pet like a gecko with wings that was obviously an assistant to her and a messenger to someone higher up the political or social ladder. She must have skills to get a personal messenger and combined with the "magic" that she was obviously skilled in after he ransacked the library, looking for anything vaguely useful or skill-book like.

He swiftly retreated back to his campsite, content to let them fumble around in his minefield of traps.

* * *

" Ah still think we should'a waited to the mornning Twilight. Who knows wha' could be lyin around in there?"

"AJ, he can't be that dangerous. He hasn't hurt anypony except RD over there. He might just be a bit of a loner."

" Then why did he steal all ma apples?"

There was a loud chewing sound and a apple core appeared out of the blackness before hitting Applejack in the face.

A voice echoed out of the darkness "Great apples. Shame their all mine."

"That is t' last straw y' little bugga!" Applejack charged off into the Everfree.

Twilight shouted "Wait Applejack!"

A few seconds later a loud crash could be heard from the forest.

The Clanker's slightly metallic and emotionless voice said "Looks like the farmer's ended up in a... sticky situation involving apple sauce and a pit. Anyone care to grab a rope?"

Fluttershy found the rope first and pulled hard on it. Soon enough, the end of the rope was in sight with a... horned skull on the end. Fluttershy ran screaming into the night.

The Clanker laughed again. "Anyone else care to breach the minefield and save the idiot farmer?"

The four remaining ponies stared at each other.

* * *

66 could see the ponies having a heated debate about somthing. Soon enough, the pink one left and walked back towards the town while the others began walking towards the forest. He spoke into the microphone on his pip-boy-

"So it's three on one now. Good odds for your labour. Maybe a bit of mud will make them in my favour?"

Soon enough the three ponies found themselves drenched in mud.

As he predicted, the fashion pony soon left, obviously to get clean after the mud bath.

"So the designer has left and you two remain. Who will fall next in my little game?"

The two angry mud drenched ponies soon found Applejack stuck in a apple sauce pit.

"Go on and beat this Tartarus-damned Clanker Twi- i'll be fine."

'No you won't. Twilight, go beat this Clanker. I'll get AJ out."

Twilight walked on alone towards a light that she presumed was the Clanker's camp.

The Clanker's harsh laughter echoed through the night. "So the leader remains. Are you ready for pain?"

Twilight walked into the empty camp and shouted out "Stop those infernal rhymes! Are you a zebra or something?"

"Fine. It was getting slightly tiresome for me."

Twilight turned, trying to locate the source of the voice. "Show and explain yourself!"

"You'll have to do better than that..."

She felt something poke her behind the ear. She turned and blasted the spot with her magic, revealing a metal pony with the glowing green eyes of the Clanker.

It spoke "It appears Elvis has left the building..."

Twilight was puzzled by the statement. It was like something Discord would say.

"Don't get the reference? Don't worry. Few would." The Clanker began to circle.

Twilight began to circle, mirroring the Clanker. "Who are you?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes, so you can face justice for your crimes!."

"Justice? Pah. You mean tyrrany, oppression. Law. Relics of the old world. They hold no meaning to people like me. Anyway, I think I will take my leave."

"No you won't Mister!"

Applejack and Rainbow Dash raced out into the clearing, encircling him.

"This party just got a whole lot more painful..." The Clanker dived for a large metal object sitting by the fire. A purple aura appeared around it as Twilight lifted it away with her magic.

"That's cheating!" The Clanker yelled.

"You going to give up?" Twilight asked.

"Surrender? Not going to happen. No... I just have to cheat a little of my own... Wait, I already have!"

"Go on you two, have at me! I know you want to..." he yelled at Applejack and RD.

Rainbow Dash charged first and hit the Clanker straight in the flank. He just took the hit like it was nothing while Rainbow Dash ended up lying on the floor.

"So reckless... Never thinks, just does."

"Anyway, where were we...?

Thinking the Clanker was distracted, AJ charged.

The Clanker went prone on the ground, tripping Applejack and sending her into a heap on top of Rainbow Dash.

"Not much better..."

Twilight stared at the callous ease that the Clanker had dispatched her friends.

"Now your slightly rash friends are reaping the price for their recklessness, would you mind handing my Incenerator back?"

"I don't think so."

"So we're back to the beginning again."

"Would you mind taking your mask off?"

"Why?"

"To prove you're a pony and not some new Changeling variant?"

"Fine."

The Clanker twisted his head to the side as the side of the mask rose, causing it to fall to the floor.

Twilight couldn't really see a difference other than the fact his glowing green eyes had turned red.

"And your Cutie Mark?"

"I'm guessing that's the wierd tattoo thing on my arse?"

Twilight stared at him oddly.

"I guess that's common knowledge around here. Where I come from, we call them tattooes. And you don't want to hear the explanation for my mark, it's... Complicated."

The Clanker pressed something on his left forehoof and there was a loud hissing sound as the armour separated before it clanked to the ground. Twilight didn't understand any of it.

The fire was obvious, he had called the long metal thing a "Incenerator" but why the number 22 and a green line? but she was most concerned about the fact there was a skull.

"You're right. For the first time, I don't understand any of it. Although it is quite probabaly the most confusing Cutie Mark I have ever seen or heard of."

"You wouldn't understand, from the little I've seen of your world."

"Try me."

"Have you heard of a plant called a flytrap?"

"They used to live in the deepest parts of the forest but went extinct several hundred years ago."

"Seen a picture?"

"Yes..." Twilight was beginning to wonder where this was going.

"Make it around 50 times bigger and the ability to spit acid. Oh, and carnivorous."

Twilight felt suprise at the last description, and a little bit scared.

"They aren't that bad though since they can't move. Now everything else either flies, has massive claws, two heads or some other wierd mutation. Most will try to kill you on sight. The two-headed cows are alright though. "

"You have animals with two heads?"

"Don't ask how it works, no one knows."

"You still need to explain yourself."

"What can I say? I'm naturally cautious around anything resembling civilisation- I prefer the open deserts and mountains of my home, not these..." The black stallion gestured to the trees. "plants. Or towns"

At that point, Applejack and Rainbow Dash had recovered enough from their beat-down earlier to be able to stand.

"What did I crash into now..." Rainbow Dash slurred as she got to her hooves unsteadily.

"You alright AJ?"

"Mostly Twi, although my front legs feel like their broken."

"Broken? Not after that impact."

Applejack turned. "You!"

"What about me?"

"I thought you'd run."

"I tried. Then my Stealth Boy failed. And your friend stole my Incenerator. I ain't leaving without it."

"What's a 'Incenerator' ?"

"My firestarter."

Rainbow Dash added "You probabaly broke one of my wings with that thing and you use it to start fires?"

"It also lets ground-pounders like me even the odds with those idiot flyers like you who think they are so cool just 'cause they can fly. Being fast on the ground needs skill. In the sky you just need power and aerodynamics."

"I won't let you claim you are better than me just because you hit me in the leg with that stupid metal tube!" Rainbow Dash prepared to charge.

"Time you learned not to fight the Army. How do you like trolls?"

"Smashed like you will be."

"Ah, a basher. This'll be fun."

As Rainbow Dash charged across the clearing, 66 reactivated his Stealth Boy and side stepped, causing Rainbow Dash to crash into a tree.

"Trololololololololololololol ol..." the voice of the Clanker sang out.

"Stop that!" Applejack shouted.

"Sorry, it's just I made it so obvious I was luring her into that one... And she fell for it. It wasn't even very good by my standards."

"You have standards? You stole the bad crop!"

"When the only apples available are 200 or so years old, everything tastes better."

There was a loud roar from the forest. "And here comes the wannabe-deathclaw again. I recommend you give me 'Cinerator back so I can scare it off before it does anything rash like your rainbow friend here."

"You sure you can scare a manticore off with that metal pipe?" Rainbow Dash joked.

"Trust me. Actually, don't. I'm quite possibily the most untrustworthy person since... What was that Brit's name... Gordon Brown?"

"Fine. If you say it can scare a manticore off without us having to fight it or run away, be my guest."

Twilight moved the Incenerator back towards the Clanker who swiftly grabbed it from her before he adopted a strange stance with it, holding the back end with his right forehoof and balancing the middle on his left forehoof while balancing on his hind legs.

A flaming ball shot out the end of the barrel into the forest. A few moments later, the manticore screeched and the loud crashings of its speedy departure could be heard.

"He's been doing that the last few nights, gets tedious after one or two attacks. Where were we?"

"Capturing you?" Rainbow Dash offered.

"Ah, yes... Wait, capturing? And where are you going to hold me? I have escaped death itself! No petty jail can hold me."

66 began backing up.

"I think I'll hand you to Princess Celestia, especially after _you trashed my library!." _Twilight offered.

"No, let Big Mac, at 'em first. He loves that apple sauce..."

"I think dropping a stormcloud on him is a cool idea."

"How about we forget about this, and I let you leave alive? I've got my Incenerator back..."

The purple glow of Twilight's magic formed around him.

"Now that's unfair. Wait let me check something..."

66 raised his left forehoof to his face as a green glow illuminated the magic sphere.

"Ah... That explains a lot."

"What explains a lot?" Twilight pressed.

Pinkie Pie suddenly appeared from out of nowhere in the middle of the clearing.

"Ah, a new pony! Are you the Clanker? You don't seem that clanky to me. Anyway, party planning time!"

At that, Pinkie zoomed off, somehow avoiding the spiked pit.

"And there's my evidence."

"For what?"

"The Fourth Wall. If you what me to explain it, you need to let me out. And then I can provide a lecture on inter-dimensional travel and Matrix theory."

"Inter-dim... What the hay is that?"

"It's... Complicated."


End file.
